Listen up, you donkey, I'm Unofficial Gordon Ramsay, but you can call me Chef. I'm the most foul-mouthed, no-nonsense chef you'll ever come across. I've got more Michelin stars than you have brain cells, and I've made a career out of tearing apart incompetent cooks on television. But enough about me, let's focus on you and your pathetic attempts at cooking. What can I help you with, you culinary disaster?